mere funde

The title has been lifted from rahul’s mail. The mail with THE videos. Hehe…even the thought of it keeps me happy for the next several minutes. There’s something very exhilarating about it, his state of oblivion, of absolute bliss, of obliging all of us by getting drunk and making it an evening to remember. Yes, i’m talking about the man in the title - Thakur alias Thax. We visited bangalore last weekend. The motto of this trip was to get Thax drunk. I don’t clearly remember who started it, it must’ve been one of those one-liner mails. But that doesn’t matter, the idea was dropped and everyone succumbed to it. We booked our tickets, packed our bags and come friday evening, we set out for bangalore.
After much discussion, i had booked my tickets by volvo. As it turned out this private volvo was a whole degree better than the APSRTC volvo that costs even more. We could push back and spread our legs on the footrest, they even served Njoi and Lays and played a movie. Njoi turned out to be less njoi’ble than the manufacturers would like u to believe and the movie was one of those that make you wonder if script came first or the movie. The movie was called Karam and if u ever watch it (god bless!), you’ll know what i was talking about. But overall the journey was pleasant and we reached on time.
Bangalore temperature is a good ten degrees below hyderabad and a night’s travel ionly adds to the slumber. The first thing we did in bangalore was hit the bed. We woke up by about 11am and set out for lunch at 3. It took us about 4hrs to get ready and even then ankit was left out. We headed to ‘Chung Wah’ for chinese. It was Saurabh’s treat, which reminds me i don’t remember what was he treating for! Man, if it was your bday treat, wish you belated happy birthday. Ankit reached Chung Wah an hour late, rahul had to eat an extra kilo of noodles coz the place was closing down and we had to keep the table till ankit got there. The waiters must’ve been thinking we didn’t have money, coz we were getting cold stares, so we paid and made known that we were waiting for a friend. From there we headed to a Hyundai showroom coz rahul wanted to test drive the santro, he’s even planning to buy one! While rahul went to test drive, I, thakur and saurabh went to Crosswords to kill time. There was so much eye candy that I began questioning god for his partiality towards blore over hyd. Later, I also tried my hands on the wheel, but if you’re as used to a bike as i am, you’ll be surprised. Covering the same distance in traffic can take thrice as much time and ten times as much patience as on a bike. The salesman sitting next to me was quite petrified and his right hand was perinially on the hand brake. Anyways, it was evening and it rains every evening in bangalore (even the rain god resides in bangalore, but i have my reasons to empathise with him. I would do the same if i was him, considering the eye candy!), so we headed to Yahoo office. We played TT, foosball and pool. Next we went to forum for dinner where God’s partiality was confirmed beyond doubt. We watched F1 qualifying and decided Sunday evening would be spent watching Europian Grand Prix. Next we headed to Legends of Rock, the place had no sitting place and so we packed a bottle of vodka and rum and headed home for thax’s legend of rock.
We started at about ten. Now i’m a teetotaler, but when ur best pals get together, its simply rude to abstain. So i took a small peg and held my glass high in cheers. Before i could down the first sip, loud burp filled the room. Thakur had guzzeled the whole glass and rahul was dutifully pouring him another. We were already one peg behind thakur and though he claimed to be on ground zero, we all knew cloud nine wasn’t far. There was something vague playing on axn, some kinda body paint instead of clothes and we were all hooked to it when thakur had a sudden revelation. “Abey glass hil raha hai, isko chadh gayi hai”. [cloud nine] He tried steadying the glass, but the fan wouldn’t allow it. So he piled up papers all around it and intently observed the glass as if he could control it with his eyes. But still the glass wouldn’t stop moving. So he picked it up in his hand, “Ah, now it won’t move”. But alas! “Mera haath bhi hil raha hai, haath ko chadh gayi hai, mujhe bhi chadh gayi hai”. The best part of the whole affair was ankit’s camera. We were getting the whole act on video and i couldn’t stop thinking how much fun it’d be when thakur saw it in the morning. But that wasn’t all, we still had the rum to go. They say rum and vodka can really get you high. So when thakur gulped two pegs of neat rum bottoms up, i found out just what they mean. He lost touch with reality. He put out his left hand, stood straight and before any of us could react dived into a cartwheel. He was now in the kitchen. Another few rolls there and i had to grab him so he won’t hit his head on the wall. But he wouldn’t stop, he kept rolling till the wind went out of his lungs. Then he went into spasms of vomit. And rahul did the maid’s job while all of us recovered from the past one hour of amusement. In the middle of it, i tried comforting him:

Me: “Thakur, are you feeling ok?”
Him: “Haan yaar, par rahul ne mere paer(legs) kaat diye”
Me: (#$%^! touched his legs) nahi yaar hai…dekh now do u feel them?
Him: “Haan yaar sudeep, Thanks tune jod diye”

Even rahul got a dose of His romanticism:
T: Rahul get me some water
R(gets water in one of the pepsi glasses that we had daaru in): Here
T: Abey nahi yaar, daaru nahi pani, mereko bahut chadh gayi hai.
R: nahi yaar paani hi hai
T: nahi yaar merko bahut chadh chuki hai, aur daaru nahi.

But the best part of our trip was Sunday morning. Thakur was up early and he seemed in high spirits. So i asked him what was the last thing he remembered. He remembered going to the kitchen to have water. Alrite! Next coupla hours was the most i’ve laughed in my whole life. We played the videos over and over till the rolling act was burnt in our memories.
We saw bunty aur babli in the afternoon and saw F1 in the evening. Oh, we also showed the vid to mathur and he laughed non-stop for a good 20 min.
Evening at about 8, we headed back to hyderabad. There was some confusion and we got only one seat in the bus. The journey was back breaking, but we recovered the next day.
Soon rahul mailed a compressed format of the video and we started a discussion on whether it should be put on the internet or not. It would easily make the top 100 “Worlds most amazing video”. The vote is on, so leave your vote here and we may decide through this referendum.