FSM

The Ten Commandments

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Following the commandments by the FSM posted here, I find these very appealing (excerpts below). Dedicated to a journalist named Shakti – I did not know her, but know that she must have been brilliant. She had brilliant friends.

Rule One: Thou Shalt Get Off Thy Lazy Ass And Get A Life,
Thou shalt not moan or groan or bitch or throw thy toaster at thy wife.
Thou art definitely good at something, find it, use it, try and do thy best.
Do what makes thee happy, take an honest shot and screw the rest.

Rule Five is not so soppy: Thou Shalt Be Silly sums it up,
Life’s a joke, a laugh, a dream, a wine-glass, not a bitter cup,
Thou shalt perform most diverse acts of looniness; thou shalt be random,
Thou shalt make them giggle, thus earning glad, undying fandom.

Rule Six: Thou Shalt Listen. Thou Shalt Care, Thou Shalt Reply,
Be thou part of others’ lives, let them find thee standing by
In times of need, let them remember joyous smiles and soft-held hands.
Share their dreams, soothe their screams, be patient, try to understand.
I’m sorry if this sounds too pious; I’m no angel, but I try.
Won’t answer thy every text but there’s no harm in aiming high.

I am a believer

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I have to admit this.

I have long been a semi-atheist. I believe in God but hate any quarrels over religion. So, I have shifted. I am now a follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM). I will now try to follow the The Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”.

The most important amongst these, for me, would be:

  1. I’d really rather you didn’t act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don’t believe in me, that’s okay. Really, I’m not that vain. Besides, this isn’t about them so don’t change the subject.
  2. I’d really rather you didn’t judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we’re talking about fashion and I’m sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia [emphasis mine, and I believe he is talking of Karan Johar].
  3. I’d really rather you didn’t indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.

All hail the FSM!